Greetings and Salutations!
You are invited to a kindergarten party on THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1,2011, at 10:00 a.m. in Courtroom 2 of the United States Courthouse, 200 W. Eighth Street, Austin, Texas.
The party will feature many exciting and informative lessons, including:
How to telephone and communicate with a lawyer
How to enter into reasonable agreements about deposition dates
How to limit depositions to reasonable subject matter
Why it is neither cute nor clever to attempt to quash a subpoena for technical failures of service when notice is reasonably given; and
An advanced seminar on not wasting the time of a busy federal judge and his staff because you are unable to practice law at the level of a first year law student.
Invitation to this exclusive event is not RSVP. Please remember to bring a sack lunch! The United States Marshals have beds available if necessary, so you may wish to bring a toothbrush in case the party runs late.
IT IS ORDERED that defense counsel Jonathan L. Woods, and movants’ attorney Travis Barton, shall appear in Courtroom 2 of the United States Courthouse, 200 W. Eighth Street, Austin, Texas, on THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2011, at 10:00 a.m., for a memorable and exciting event
I am pretty certain these attorneys need some cheering up about having to repeat kindergarten. Maybe this will help: